I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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