Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This baby is an asshole
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
