i jhust puked up my retainher.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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