Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize