someone get that fucking seahorse.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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