girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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