Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
oh god the rape fog is back!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
