Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
