Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
