I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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