I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My vagina is very pro this idea
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
