Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
