she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
