my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
