I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
