I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
this is an emotional support booty call
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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