oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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