WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
