found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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