I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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