I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
