My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
