we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I am one with the molecules
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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