found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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