i love accidental penises.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
