Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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