so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
