i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
