we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
