After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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