I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
