I like to think it a success when the cops are called
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
