My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
