u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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