in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
