She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
