I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
