i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
