my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
