we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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