i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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