eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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