I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm bleeding and have questions
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