White coat. Heels.
Is it because I queefed?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
