Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
