Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
