sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
