This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
