dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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