we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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