belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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