I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
