The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
