One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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