Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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