i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So vagazzling was a success
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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