I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
