I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
